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Get Graphical
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OK, so what happens when i exchange my paintbrush for a computer mouse? Of course, I’m a super-graphic designer. It’s not all about software though, you need a limitless imagination and technical skill too, obviously I excell at both. So there, chew on THAT, tyre-kicker.
Today, with the development of sophisticated graphics software and techniques, I can offer you a shit-hot creative design service for all your web and print. Get in line, motherfuckers! I have a ‘designer’s eye’ (well, I have two eyes) for detail, creativity and ‘shit hottedness’. That is my style, you can probably tell that from my own logos and design.
PLEASE NOTE
FOR ALL YOU STUPID PEOPLE, THE GRAPHIC DESIGN SERVICE IS WHERE YOU RECIEVE A RANGE OF FILES. ‘DESIGN AND PRINT’ IS A SERVICE WHERE I ERR.. DESIGN AND PRINT PHYSICAL THINGS SUCH AS BUSINESS CARDS AND MENUS. CLICK ‘DESIGN AND PRINT’ IF YOU NEED THAT. HONESTLY, YOU’RE ALL SO THICK.
PRODUCTS:
For all your web and print materials, i’m your ‘man with a tan who can’. Every design piece includes unlimited edits until your lucky ass is satisfied. ‘Your satisfaction is my objective’ – and I sound like a prostitute(!)
Process
Let’s simplify it for the boneheads amongst us:
Turnaround
Depending on my schedule, I will usually provide first drafts of the artwork within 4 to 5 days of agreement. This is done via email and/or print. After that, it’s up to you and however long it takes till you’re a happy bunny.
File Formats Supplied
All in all, I provide five files of each design. This should be suffice for all your lame-ass print and web uses. Upon completion, these are usually emailed to you, or I could put them on a CD for you, if you’re thick.
Price and Payment
You love your money, right? You sleep with it and hate spending it? Don’t worry you cheapskate motherfucker, my prices are reasonable and I’m not in the business of ripping folk off. All jobs require a 25% deposit upon agreement. The remaining 75% upon completion and delivery.
